Even the best of relationships can hit a rough patch ever once in awhile. It’s how the couple handles these issues that can determine whether they are able to get back on track. As a couples counselor can explain, the longer a couple is together, they often have certain patterns that develop and repeat over and over again. These patterns can make it difficult to work through disagreements and contribute to the buildup of resentments and stress.
Here are some of the most common patterns that couples can get caught up in that can indicated signs of trouble in the relationship. If you recognize any of these in your marriage, consider calling a couples counselor for help:
· Couples who are having marital problems often use different aspects of their life to gain the upper hand. There can be power struggles over issues with the children, money, how free time is spent, friendships, and relatives. One of the most common areas of power struggles is the couple’s sex life and one spouse may feel the other is using sex as a weapon.
· Failure to let go of anger, fear, or other emotions that prevent feelings of love, joy, and tenderness to enter the relationship. Although it is important to feel and process all emotions, the key to a healthy relationship is to be able to let go of the bad feelings once you have processed and shared your feelings with your spouse.
· Failure to pay attention to what the other spouse is saying can be the death knell of any relationship. Spouses need to really listen to what each other are saying and not be so quick to try to “solve the problem” for them. People appreciate being heard.
· One or both spouses are unable to be open emotionally with each other. This is critical to achieve and keep intimacy between the two and is what distinguishes our relationship with our partner compared to our relationships with friends, co-workers, etc.
· One or both spouses are unable to clearly articulate what they are feeling. Instead, they focus on what they are thinking. But in order to reach that level of intimacy so important in a marriage, we need to be able to share and understand what our partner is feeling, not just what they think.
· There is a lack of physical affection and closeness between the couple. Often, this stems from some type of past emotional trauma or pain a spouse may have suffered.
Let a Therapist Help
If you are having issues in your marriage, it may be time to consider couples counseling. Call a therapist in Palatine, IL today to see how couples counselors can guide you and your spouse in regaining the intimacy and communication you once had.
Thanks to Lotus Wellness Center for their insight into counseling and signs of trouble in a marriage.